Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

The sadness was still there.

Is TikTok a creation of the porn industry? To make porn more normalized and accepted? So the porn industry doesn’t lose customers?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

And the sadness?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Why does it smell so bad? I noticed that when I move around my vagina has a stench. It’s usually a wet liquid, almost like pee. There’re little to no discharge and it doesn’t hurt or itch.

I had run out of hope.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Would you raise your children like your parents raised you?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Why should the US public listen to Lauren Boebert, the queen of hypocrisy tell us, "We need morals back in our nation" when her real-time video is the heartbeat of immoral? Why does her audio not match her video?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s still here.

Time (physics): Who started counting our current time or is it just "set" by some scientific measure?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Be who you already are.

Why do the majority of feminists hate men (not all feminists)?

You are like me, then.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I was tired of fighting.

How old is planet Earth? Is it 4.5 billion years old or 6,000 years old?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Space humbles the SEAL-doctor-astronaut | On the ISS this week June 9-13, 2025 - Space

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.